Friday, April 13, 2007

Yesterday Was The Worst Day

Yesterday, I had the worst doctor appointment ever. At first, I was quite excited about it because I was getting my second ultrasound on the baby. I am 12 1/2 weeks, so my doctor scheduled me for a nuchal translucency ultrasound which gives you more detail as to the baby's health. The sonographer looks for any abnormalities or heart defects, anything that would cause concern for an unborn fetus and then shows any findings to a genetic obstetrician. Well they found a doozy on my baby. Apparently, a cystic hygroma is growing on the back of the baby's neck and is causing a great amount of concern. As soon as the doctor told me this, my heart started pounding and then the rest of the visit was a blur! Next thing you know I started hearing phrases like Down's Syndrome and Turner's Syndrome.

I was asked if I wanted a CVS done. I immediately said YES! I needed to know what in the world was going on with my baby. I was told I would have to talk to a genetics councelor and then taken into another room and prepped to have the CVS done. Using an ultrasound, the doctor stuck a needle through my stomach and uterus and into the cystic hygroma in order to aspirate cells for Chromosomal testing. This was a pretty painful since my uterus was trying to fight the needle. At one point I even said SHIT out loud...I figured, I couldn't move so I had to do something.

Then I was sent into a room to talk to a genetics councelor about all of the possible scenarios. As soon as I walked into the room and sat down, I saw a box of tissue and immediately grabbed one because I knew that I would not be able to hold back the tears. This was another blurry moment! She took a family history, but as far as I know, there are no genetic abnormalities in neither my family nor Troy's. I'm not over 35, so that risk factor doesn't play a part in this, so why are we here? I remember her saying things like, trisomy 13, trisomy 18 etc... I remember her explaining to me about Down's Syndrome and Turner's Syndrome (occurs in a female child with only 1 X chromosome, which means sterility for her), she talked about severe cleft palettes and some sort of heart defect that would cause 95% of the fetuses to miscarry and that 5% that survive birth don't make it to their 1st birthday. Like I said, it's all one big blur, I still have a headache!

So now, what am I to do? I've decided to go on as normal until I get the results, probably Monday. Then and only then can I deal with this. So today I attended the Memories Expo here in NJ and I will do the same tomorrow. Sunday I'm throwing my sister's bridal shower; she's getting married May 5th!

I figure it's all out of my hands anyway...completely out of my control. I'm a little sad, but I don't think there's any sense in being angry. Obviously God has a bigger pray for me even though I don't know where to begin to pray myself!


Adriann said...

I am soooo sorry to here about your baby. But like you said-- God has a plan.

Heavenly Father I lift up Tanisha and Troy to you in prayer. I pray that the doctors have made a mistake and that thier baby is safe and sound. I pray that your will be done in this baby's life and that no matter the outcome that You will get the glory because everything happens according to Your good. Your word says that all things are possible through Christ that strengthens us and I am believing in the Miracle of this precious life. I thank You for Your healing powers. And so it is, and so it will be done. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen!

Sister, I will be keeping you in my prayers. You keep on keeping on and let God do the rest.


Dawn Bibbs said...

Oh my goodness, I don't know what to say!

I can't even begin to imagine how I would be feeling right now, if I were you. If you don't mind my asking, are you over 35? Normally, this kind of stuff doesn't come up unless you're considered a "risk".
By no means am I a doctor, I'm simply grasping at straws for you here.

Wow, we WILL pray for you, your baby and your husband. God definitely is in control and believe it or not, knows what he's doing. You are blessed to be pregnant right now, so prayerfully you will continue to be and all will be well.

Stay calm, take care of YOU and PUSH (pray until something happens). We love you and will be thinking of you and your family.

Have fun at the Expo tomorrow...make sure you share pix of your "loot" :-).

ScrappinMyRoots said...

Oh Tanisha, I am so sorry to hear this news. I too had to have that test because I was over 35 (I was 36 when pregnant with my last child), that procedure really did hurt. We where so worried as I know you and your husband are, but God Blessed us with a healthy child and I pray for that result for you.

You are right, It's not in your control. Be calm, and take it easy. Stress is not good for you or the baby! God Bless and I am praying for you.

Karen Bowers said...

oh my, tanisha. it's so hard. loving our children is just hard. we came up with some of the markers for possible downs syndrome, and it all turned out negative for us. perhaps that will be your story, too.

Melanie Harris said...

Tanisha, I am saying a prayer for you and bubba. I hope you get good news regarding the 2nd test.

I am thinking of you sweetie.

myfrogprince said...

Tanisha - I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I will say a prayer that God will give you and your baby strength.

Lucy Chesna said...

HUgs and prayers

Shanismom said...

i'm sorry to hear the news about the baby. i'll be praying for you.

Tiffany said...

You and the baby are both in my prayers. I'll be thinking of you all weekend and through the week. May God continue to bless you, Troy, and the little one.

.jess. said...

(((HUGS)))) you are definately in my prayers!!!

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